Life coming at me

It's amazing how it can feel good and bad all at once to have your misgivings about a particular person validated.

I hung out with Friend (whose name I will not mention, for the sake of folks that know both of us) tonight. She's been good friends with my ex-roommate (EX) for the past several months. Well, I don't hold EX in the highest regards. I think she's selfish, mean, self-righteous, a show-off --- among other things. Another friend and I talked several months ago about the fact that EX tends to jump around from friend to friend. She'll hang out with one girl for a couple of weeks/months and basically let that girl feel like they are "best buds," but once something better comes along, the friend gets kicked to the curb. Personally, I think that she uses her "friends" so that she can gain status and once they've served their purpose she quits hanging around with them. I know of at least 4 people this has happened to with EX. So, anyway, EX has started dating around a bit and doesn't really have as much time for Friend any more. And when Friend tries to talk to her about it, apparently EX gets really defensive and kind of mean. So, Friend and I talked about this for a long time tonight, along with some other things. I feel bad for Friend and hope she will start hanging out with us some, because she is a really cool, sweet girl, and I don't want to see her get hurt the way I know EX could potentially hurt her.

It's still hard for me to be around EX. Everything she does, I question her motives and, honestly, I think I'm justified in doing it usually. That doesn't mean it's healthy for me to dwell on this relationship. It's hard for me, though, because I see her somewhat frequently and it seems like every time I see her, she has to let me know some way that she has outdone me, some way that she's succeeded in being better than I am. And I guess that's why I question her motives. But at the same time, when I hear these things from her, it makes me want to do the same thing. But I can't be that kind of person.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I'm not even sure if any of that made sense.