Scientists have always been baffled about all of this something having to come from nothing, and I wonder what kinds of worlds the nothingness must inhabit. I wonder at what Paul said back in Portland, how God is good, how it doesn't do any good to run from Him because what He has is good and who He is, is good. Even if I want to run, it isn't really what I want - what I want is Him, even if I don't believe it. If He made all this existence, you would think He would know what He is doing, and you would think He could be trusted. Everything I want is just Him, to get lostin Him, to feel His love and more and more of this dazzling that He does. I wonder at His beautiful system and how it feels better than anything I could choose or invent for myself. I wonder as I gaze up at the night sky, this love letter from God to creation, this reminder that somewhere there is peace, somewhere there is order, and I think about how great His kingdom is, and is going to be, and I wonder, in this rare and beautiful moment, how I could ever want to walk away from it all. There are so many stars I will dream of them. I open my eyes and see stars, then close them and see stars. In the morning the sun will rise, the flowers will bloom in the spring, squirrels will perform acrobatic jumps from treetops to treetops, babies will gurgle, and I consider how delightful everything is. I remember as well what Paul had said in the canyon, about how what we used to want was cars and money and stuff and then all we wanted was a bowl of cereal, and I actually laugh out loud about it because right now we're here. I have absolutely nothing. I have no money and no home and nothing but a pair of good shoes and a sleeping bag, and I am finally seeing how good life is, how beautiful it is.Yeah, this was another good book. It made me want to go on an adventure. Honestly, reading this book has really opened me up to apply for jobs in places outside of Tuscaloosa. I'm OK with staying here, but I'm OK with moving on, too. And I'm trusting.
Current read: The Winter of Our Discontent, Steinbeck
In other news, I might be going to Mexico after all! I don't want to go into too many details in case it falls through, but if God works it out, it's going to be really awesome!