I'm pretty happy with where I am right now.
It's funny, a few weeks ago, I pretty much had a total meltdown driving home from Fort Walton. I was miserable. I felt trapped.
Four hours, a lot of crying and yelling at God and several phone calls later, I began to feel OK again. I credit this mostly to God smacking me in the back of the head and reminding me that I don't have to be afraid. Also good was the phone conversation with Ashley where I was actually able to open up and share some of what I have been going through. I don't think I've ever done that, and it felt really good.
I've finished reading two new books in the past month and have started on a third one. I'm writing. I had a date Saturday, and another one this weekend. (And I'm not going to elaborate much on that, because I know Bobby will read this... ;))
I also got to spend quality time with my family this weekend, which is something I neglect all too often. I took some more good photos. And this morning I got up on time for work, which is no small feat for me.
A few things have been on my mind today (some for the past few days). The first is that I'm ready to stop feeling sorry for the way other people treat me; I'm deciding to be the bigger person but to also recognize when someone's flinging crap at me. I will not degrade myself or allow anyone else to do it, either, but I will love rather than judge. That's a tough one, and it's going to take some work for me.
Another thing that's been on my mind is the year-long clothes fast. I am going to do it. Today is officially day 1. I e-mailed Diane, who write the article I linked to in my last post, and she says she will be glad to offer support and encouragement however she can. I also sent her a few questions that I had. I'm not sure exactly how it's going to work out or what concessions I will make for myself (still working on those), but I think it's going to be an incredible year.
I've also been pondering what I will do come August. I am leaning more and more toward moving to Birmingham. I really feel the need for a change, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for moving really far away yet. Birmingham is far enough away that I could get involved with some stuff in the city if I wanted to, but I could also continue to attend Vineyard (where I go to church now) and still see my friends in Tuscaloosa pretty regularly. So I looked at some apartments in Birmingham today and even e-mailed an inquiry about one complex. I'm not sure how the job situation will look, but hopefully something will come up either in Birmingham or Tuscaloosa or somewhere in between. And, if not, I am still open to the possibility of moving elsewhere.
So, yeah. Things are looking good. I have 15 days off this summer, and I'm working on scheduling those so I can spend time with family members I don't get to see that often, go to New Orleans and go to California (and hopefully Mexico ... still waiting to hear about that).
I'm not joking.
4 months ago