Life coming at me

Today I happened across this article on Burnside Writers' Collective.

This woman, Diane Nienhuis, decided to follow in the steps of Penny (of Blue Like Jazz quasi-fame) and give up buying clothes for a year. It's worth reading if you have a few minutes.

Here's my response, as posted on the Burnside site:

Diane, thank you for sharing about your journey. You've really given me something to think about.

It's funny, I've read BLJ, and I don't even remember the part you are talking about (no offense, Penny). Apparently that wasn't the time in my life when I really needed to hear that. But I think this is.

I can easily identify with Kristi, who said, "I use fashion to get love." I'm realizing more and more that I am letting the wrong things define who I am. Why is it that buying a $20 skirt will make me feel so much better when I've had a bad day? The answer, of course, is that the skirt doesn't make me feel better; it's the idea of getting compliments and being admired because I have something cool, shiny and new that will be out of style in three weeks.

I also just finished reading Through Painted Deserts (another D.Miller book), and a particular passage near the end of the book really struck me. Speaking of God: "Even if I want to run, it isn't really what I want - what I want is Him, even if I don't believe it. If He made all this existence, you would think He would know what He is doing, and you would think He could be trusted. Everything I want is just Him, to get lost in Him, to feel His love and more and more of this dazzling that He does."

If this is true, and I believe it is, then what I'm wanting when I buy clothes is really Him. I want approval, love, appreciation. If I believe that He's a good God, then I believe that He can provide those things. But that's not the way I live.

So, like I said, you've given me something to think about, Diane.

I don't know if I'm going to start my own fast, but I'm definitely going to consider it.

I really may do it. I think it would be hard for me, but I think it would be good for me, too. I'm going to try to decide for sure before the weekend's up.