Life coming at me

OK, so you probably really haven't been waiting with bated breath or anything. And it's really not been that long since I last updated this blog.

Wedding planning is possibly the most stupid, stressful thing I've ever done. I'm just making a mental note that if I have friends who get married in the future, if they ask me to do ANYTHING I need to just do it without complaining or making excuses. I'm seriously understanding where Bridezillas come from; I've tried really hard to make things as simple and easy as possible for everyone, and I sort of feel like that's left me in charge of more than I should be taking on. I also suck at asking for help.

My biggest adventure of this past week was the frantic realization that I still needed to get my dress altered and that I was really running out of time. So I called Randy and told him I'd be coming into work a little later and headed across town to David's Bridal. I was planning to just run in and pick up a corset or some similar thing so that I could take the dress to an alterations place and have a realistic view of how much the dress would need to be let out.

Except that David's Bridal doesn't open until 11. And it was about 9.

I jetted across the street to Target in hopes that I could at least find something similar to what I was looking for. Not happening. So I picked up the best thing I could find and went back across the street to Northington Cleaners, where I was planning to have the alterations done. I'd heard that they were inexpensive, good and quick.

Northington Cleaners had gone out of business.

By that point I was just shaking my head. The minutes were ticking away, I knew I needed to get to work as soon as I could. After searching out another alterations shop that also apparently had gone out of business, I decided to try University Cleaners, where I'd had some pants hemmed before. I walked in and asked if they do wedding dress alterations.

The answer: "Well, I do wedding dress alterations, Honey, but I don't do them here. You can come to Beauty Mark (note from me: which is even further on the other side of town) after 4 if you want me to look at it."

I did not want to wait until 4 or have to make a trip over to Skyland if I could help it, so I stopped by Jenny's, another place I'd had pants hemmed in the past. The owners of Jenny's is this little Asian couple, and, honestly, they speak very limited English. I put on the dress, which really didn't fit the way it should have because I didn't have the proper undergarments, and walked out. After a flurry of conversation that I completely didn't understand (it was literally in a foreign language), I finally got a "No can do."

Um. OK. At this point I started to get a little upset, but I made a decision to save full-blown panic until I could talk to someone who could explain to me exactly what would need to be done to salvage the dress (or at least my ability to wear it).

Upon this disappointment, I stopped at the only other place I could think of that might have a seamstress: Burch and Hatfield, a different bridal shop from where I actually bought my dress. They didn't have an in-house seamstress, but they were able to give me the name and number of someone named Prudence. Prudence sounds like a good seamstress name, so I decided to give it a shot. Prudence agreed to meet me at my apartment that evening to take measurements and see what she could do.

By that point it still wasn't 11, so I finally just went on to work. I had to make the trip back across town anyway to go to David's Bridal and get the stuff I needed. But it was worth it because once I tried the dress on with that, Prudence was able to look at it and say, "Yeah, this shouldn't be a problem."

Whew. So I turned my dress over to Prudence and should have it back the week before the wedding, and the price won't be too terrible, either. And, yes, if you are wondering, David's Bridal does alterations, but I've heard horror stories about the quality and the price! I'm really glad that's taken care of, and Prudence seemed like she knows what she's doing.

Anyway, beyond that, I've been taking care of a lot of little stuff (well, some big stuff, too -- I also wrote my vows this week), dealing with mama drama about where the bridesmaids are going to stay the night before the wedding and still needing to send thank you notes and a few more invitations. Thankfully my sister Amy is taking care of a lot of the wedding weekend stuff, so once I get the things I need to do on the front end completed, I should be able to actually enjoy the wedding!

Three weeks and it'll all be over, and I'll be able to see friends and family, then get on a plane for France!

By the way, if you're interested in a small update on our house situation, check out our blog here.

So I'm learning how to really be forgiving. And I don't like it. It's hard. It takes a lot of effort.

Seriously, the scripture that talks about praying for the people who hurt you (not the exact wording, probably, but that's the basic gist of it) may be one of the hardest ones to take to heart. It's a whole heck of a lot easier to be angry about something and to justify that by looking for more things to make you angry. Easier, yes, but also a lot less healthy and more harmful to the person taking those actions. I've been so mad over a period of time, and it's affected the way I am around my friends and Bobby. It's also done nothing at all to make me happy or feel better about myself or life. It's pretty pointless.

So why keep doing it? Well, I can definitely hold a grudge with the best of 'em. It's odd to me that I can forgive some things but not others, and I guess it has to do with whether the person shows remorse, changes, etc. This isn't a new struggle for me, but I think this is the first time I've made efforts to take a Biblical approach to it.

That's certainly not to say I've got it right. But I am working on it. My prayers often include, "Lord, please help me forgive and move on," and more and more they've come to include prayers for the happiness and well being of those I'm trying to forgive.

Am I still mad? Yeah, I'd say so, to an extent. And I think it's OK to be mad, but I think there's a fine line between being unhappy something happened and letting that thing dominate relationships and actions. When I am so mad about something that I wish or display ill will toward another person, it's definitely time for me to take a step back and look at ME.