Life coming at me

I think I'm going to move back over to Blogger from Livejournal. I don't know what it is, but there's something I like better about Blogger.

I'm re-reading Brennan Manning's The Ragamuffin Gospel -- great book. Grace is something that's really been on my mind and heart lately. I still have so much to learn about it. I think I'm pretty good at the surface-level grace, where I can at least act like nothing is wrong. But when it comes to letting go and moving on ... well, that's a little harder. I try to "forgive and forget," but I can see past hurts come back to the surface through my feelings over current situations. And it's one thing to still feel hurt over something, but it's another entirely to continue to hold it against someone. Forgiveness and grace go so much hand in hand.

It's also hard at times to have grace for myself. I'm trying to learn to be myself and to be accepting of myself, not to have to pretend for anyone and to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like me. I guess if I am happy with who I am, I will stop needing so much approval from other people. I can't even imagine how great life would be if I actually did all the things I say I want to do, and those things are in my reach.

I'm 25 years old, and I'm still uncomfortable with who I am. But I'm trying.